Feeling Anti Social.

Been feeling somewhat moody lately.  I am sure everyone  it's normal.  Could be from not enough sleep, could be from just life in general.  But my moods tends to be up and down.  I am usually a pretty positive person in general.  Or at least I try to be.  There are just times when things get me down.  I tend to over think a lot of things that just aren't that big of a deal.  It could be just my own insecurities.  It could also be my constant needs for reassurance that things are good and fine in my life.


I don't have a lot of close friends and I used to think that wasn't such a big deal.  Though as I am getting older, I admit I am a bit jealous of getting to see many people I know still in their social groups from high school or even grade school.

The subject of being social and hanging out with friends has become a constant discussion between Chuck and I.  He tends to be a bit easier going then I am with people.  I take a very long time to open up.  Always have since I have been burned and hurt a lot in the past.  And the "discussion" tend to turn into arguments.  I bottle a lot up inside and don't let me feelings out.

I kind of wish I could find an easier way to be around people.  I don't want to be the weird chick that no one can talk to.  Or the control freak that I tend to get accused of being.  Maybe I should have tried to be a bit more out going as a young person.  But since there is no chance of that now.  I guess I will just have to deal.